Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
