I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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