yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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