It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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