awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
