well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
