Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
