I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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