I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
