When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my shit smells like andre
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
