My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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