Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
