Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
