is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
