she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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