By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
