Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
