I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
