Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
