just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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