Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
