if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
