in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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