a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
