I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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