i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
