Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
