Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
