so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize