Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
