do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
