He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
