So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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