The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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