Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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