Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
