thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
lets start a swedish sibling band together
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
