I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
