she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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