Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
