Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Do vagina's smell?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
