I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
