Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
