I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
