Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My vagina is officially offended.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
