I'm going to jail i love you
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
