I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
