Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Randomize
