i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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