It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize