She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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