so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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