Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
