Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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