Buhtt sex?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
