People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
