whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
