'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize