I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
